5 Questions to Assess Your Fear of Failure

Can questions to yourself help you overcome your fears of failure? YES…

..and the reason why is that asking your self the right questions can lead to a healthier and more productive way of thinking. A common theme you will find in people managing their careers, is that they manage the downside versus the upside of their decisions which we will discuss more fully on my next blog post.  Terri Cole – CEO, Live Fearless and Free; transformation coach and licensed therapist, shared an interesting write upon the topic of  Reframing Your Fear of Failure.

She raised a very powerful revelation:  Fear of failure has one thing in common with all of our other fears.  It is a feeling and not a fact.  Isn’t this empowering? It is saying that our biggest fears comes from what we feel will possibly happen to us in the future. We don’t fear what we experience today, because we are experiencing it. Reality always takes over from fear. Because we are there and dealing with it.

We find problems we fear are always less than what we actually experience should that fear materialize.

Terri raised 5 questions to help us better rationalize our fears, modify our thinking about a problem and actually deal with a more realistic assessment of risks.

1.  How is your fear of failure holding you back?
2. What would life be like if you did not have this fear?
3. Who are you afraid of disappointing if you fail?
4. How strong is your desire to release this fear?
5. If there were one step you could take to overcome this fear, what would it be?

Action of the Day
Go through these 5 questions. Be really honest with yourself.  Your ability to pursue your ultimate career objectives are most likely dependent on your ability to address any fears of failure you have.  I found these questions exhilarating and reinforcing my desire to manage the upside of opportunities versus the downside of risk taking.

Quote of the Day
” You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”      Eleanor Roosevelt….famous first lady to President Franklin D. Roosevelt

It would be great if you could share your thoughts:  What ways to deal with fear has worked for you? 

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5 Ways to Address Failure

Have you ever thought about having this tagline?  I am Looking Forward to Failure.

Probably not. Who would?  We often link the failure to achieve a goal as coming up short versus others we wish to compare ourselves to.  You get this converged potion of feelings including disappointment, resentment, envy and self-doubt.  Most people’s lives and careers are based on seeking pleasure or avoiding pain. Most will bend over backwards putting themselves into a situation where they avoid failure because the perceived pain far exceeds any potential probability of success.

This is where we will stand out and make a difference in our lives.  Every failure is a stepping stone to inevitable success. If you knew, in the bottom of your heart, that no short-term obstacle can prevent you from achieving your goals in life, wouldn’t you view failure in a different way?  You bet!!!

Scott Edinger, the founder of Edinger Consulting Group, co-authored an excellent HBR(Harvard Business Review) blog titled, Get Ready to Fail.  In it, Scott highlights 5 ways to address failure and make it part of the process rather than something to avoid.

1) Acknowledge the failure and put it in perspective
Research referenced in the blog shows that taking responsibility for your mistakes separates those who handle failure well from those who don’t.

2) Look for causes, not blame
Assigning blame means shifting control of a solution from yourself to others.  Focusing on the cause(s) means you take control to prevent similar failures in the future.

3) Before you wrack your brain to think up an appropriate response, take a break.
We are not designed to operate under a 24/7 mode though when we confront failure, we cannot stop thinking about it. Engage in other pursuits. Spend time with loved ones or get some physical activity(endorphins). Let your mind wander. You will be surprised what 30 minutes to a few days of a mental break can do.

4) Get some help.
Feeling down is normal. Prolonged periods of depression and despair are not. If needed, find that friend, mentor or therapist to help you through this setback.

5) Refocus your efforts and take action.  
Nothing will make you feel quite as good as taking action and finding even a small element of success in that action. It may take some time to reach that success, but you certainly won’t have any until you start trying.

Action of the Day
Identify if you are taking any risks in your career where you are risking failure. If not, identify an action you could take to make a difference. Make believe you failed miserably in your initial efforts.  Create an outcome that is likely to cause you to feel let down, rejected or taking several steps back instead of forward.  Now, pretending you have failed, go through the 5 steps above in your mind. Play the scenario out. Do you come out of the role playing exercise in a stronger place where the implications of a failure can bring you strength and one step closer to success? The pain of failure starts to be less significant than the pleasures of success from the experience.

Quote of the Day:  “Don’t wait. The time will never be just right”….. Napoleon Hill

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Happiness – No Arms or Legs Required

As you can tell from reviewing my posts on this website, Upgrading Your Career is less about any technical abilities and more about your attitude, getting along with people and possessing a never quit philosophy.

You will just love this video on Nick Vujicic. A man born without arms and legs. But…..he has made a life for himself based not on self pity but self exploration, living life to its fullest and sharing his passion with others. Take a look.

I have experienced, like many of you, periods in my life where I felt nothing went right.   There were times when I felt very alone and lacked confidence in myself.  My career has had bumps in the road. I sometimes just did not want to look at myself in the mirror.  As Zig Ziglar would say,  I would throw myself a pity party. Have you gone through periods like this?  Nick leads by example and overcomes his struggles through sheer brute force of a positive attitude and desire to make a difference for people.  For almost all of us, our career and life could not be more challenging than what Nick has experienced. Yet Nick finds happiness. Nick finds hope. You know what….if I were an employer, I would bend over backwards to see how I can bring Nick into my company. There is a lesson there for all of us. Be inspired. Allow others to be an example for you. We all have room to grow and become a better person.

Action of the Day
Before you go to sleep tonight, sit at the edge of your bed and think about what you appreciate. Think about how Nick might handle the problems you are facing right now. How can you shift your thinking from problems waiting to happen to opportunities waiting to come forward? This is an exciting time of your life, right now. Embrace it.

Quote of the Day
“It doesn’t matter where you are coming from. All that matters is where you are going.”   Brian Tracy

Youtube Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8ZuKF3dxCY  Nick’s Website: http://www.lifewithoutlimbs.org/

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What if 20,000 People Came to your Rescue?

Imagine how you would feel if you messed up singing the national anthem in front of over 20,000 people in an arena on national TV?  Many of us would avert the crises by never putting ourselves in that situation. But, Natalie Gilbert, the winner of a Toyota sponsored contest for an up and coming vocal performer, found out what it is like. She forgot the words, but the very best of human nature came out. Watch what Coach Mo Cheeks, former head coach of the Philadelphia 76rs, did.

Imagine how powerful you can be if you went through life, and your career, with the fundamental belief in the positive nature of people. Most people wish the best of others and will root for their success. Just like for Natalie, the whole arena wanted this risk taking experience to be as positive as possible.  Imagine if you were one of the people in the audience that night. Wouldn’t you have wanted to lift Natalie’s spirits during this challenging experience?

Action of the Day:  If you knew that everyone you knew would be there to break a fall, help you recover from a failed experience, give you a smile when you felt like crying, what would you consider doing?  Visualize yourself doing that risk with all your loved ones, friends, and every acquaintance you know but forget their name, were there to root you on all the way. Feel that warm feeling.  Now for the fun part, how can you be that person who helps others rise to the occasion even when they believe they are destined for failure?  Find that opportunity to help others, even anonymously.   You will find yourself transforming into an even more “giving” person. Giving people are the most successful people in the world.

Quote of the Day: “Life’s most urgent question is: What are you doing for others?”    Martin Luther King, Jr.

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A Millionaire Secret

About 200,000 new millionaires were added last year according to Spectrem Group of Chicago who released its latest annual report of American millionaires early in 2012.   One can be a cynic and come up with unfair reasons why this happened.  Why be bitter, jealous or indifferent? Let’s celebrate the success of others unselfishly. Paul B. Farrell wrote a revealing blog titled Secrets to Being a Millionaire and Enjoying It.    It really comes down to ATTITUDE. It is all in your head.

It is deciding you have what it takes to take your life in whatever direction you need to take it to create value for others.  Paul identified 10 ways to think the right way:

1. Getting rich isn’t about the money
(It’s about creating value for others…improve peoples’ lives)
2. Think different
(Go  Your Own Way….take out that machete and carve that path…make life fun)
3. Accentuate the positive
( A positive attitude will offset “almost” any disadvantage thrown your way)
4. Quit doing what you hate
(Don’t let your life whittle away doing what you don’t enjoy.)
5. Do what you love
(Many times it starts as a hobby, then some pocket change and then….it happens a lot)
6. Find the real you
 (You will know it when you feel it…experience new things, meet new people)
7. Invest in “You Inc.”
 (Take the attitude that you right now own your own company..take pride in what you do)
8. Live with Passion
(Go through each day with enthusiasm, live with zest, you are a lucky person!!)
9.  Live in the moment
 (Live every day to its fullest, ..who knows what tomorrow brings…but today is a sure thing)
10. Make a difference
(Most millionaires love helping people and making a difference in other peoples’  lives)

 ACTION OF THE DAY
List 3 ways you can be of value to others.  One way at work, one way at home and one way for a stranger. Take action today. How did it feel? Natural or strange. Keep practicing this approach until it feels comfortable and natural. You will find so much joy in bringing value and happiness to others, that the inevitable future compensation you get from your services will happen automatically.

QUOTE OF THE DAY
“You are the masterpiece of your own life; you are the Michelangelo of your experience. The David that you are sculpting is you. And you do it with your thoughts.”
Dr. Joe Vitale   Motivational author and speaker

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The Ultimate Positive Thinking Person

This gentleman is amazing.   We all can get down in the dumps periodically due to something that didn’t work right for us.   But Jon Morrow,  Associate Editor of Copyblogger wouldn’t have any of that.   Jon wrote a blog that will just blow you away titled…..How to Quit Your Job, Move to Paradise and Get Paid to Change the World. To me this is not about Quitting a Job…it is about thinking positively in your life…this positive attitude will yield unbelievable results to you in your career and personal life.

Basically, here is a man who ran into some physical issues from an accident and became dependent on the US Government for survival.  He took initiative and developed a positive thinking approach and created a new career….He didn’t stop to grovel or just accept his predicament. He took on a passion of blogging. It could be any vocation. But he drove it forward with passion. His first focus was to help people….not strictly to make $.

This blog entry from Jon is well worth the time investment. No matter where you are in  your career and life, from unemployed and alone to self-employed with a large loving family nearby,  you can do it. Just think positive, make a plan, establish goals, take action.

Action of the Day
Are there any problems you have that exceeds Jon’s health issues from the accident?  If yes, you have my full compassion. However, if you don’t, you have the world ahead of you.  Write a list of the top 3 things you are grateful for.   Carry these blessings with you on a notecard. It will help you stay in a positive mood almost all the time. You have so much to be grateful for and maintain a positive frame of mind.  Smile…make a plan, establish goals, take action on your top pursuits..TODAY!!!

Quote of the Day
“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.”  ……..William Arthur Ward

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How to Enjoy Life : Take on a Hobby

This blog is a bit on the lighter side.  We stress the need to educate ourselves in a skill that is of value in the marketplace.  We balance family and work responsibilities which often leads no time for ourselves or fun. Life is too short. I remember going to high school and college and spent way too much time studying, working. Very little playtime.   Here are a list of hobbies I enjoyed but sacrificed time in not doing:

* Magic
* Performing comedy on stage
* Writing stories
* Dating (did I really admit that?)

Are you going through stressful times or investing a disproportionate amount of your time on running a business, finding a job or moving up the corporate ladder?  If the answer is yes, the time for a change has come.

Here is a whimsical video of people who have invested in hobbies that they enjoy. Most of these “feats” are not linked towards upgrading their career, earning more money or puts them in line for being famous. But, they represent a category of activities you should never let go of. Doing things you enjoy just because they are fun or makes your life that much more interesting. If you do this, you will find people will find you more interesting.  Wouldn’t you ultimately want to build friendships and maintain relationships with people with a variety of interests?

Action of the Day
List three things you really enjoy doing and practicing that you just don’t make time for. In the next 24 hours, find 15 minutes and do it. If it requires time, like hiking in the mountains, schedule it now in the calendar and complete in the next 7 days. Make a commitment to yourself to schedule personal time each day or several days to do something you enjoy but will not contribute to your financial wellbeing.

Quote of the Day
“When you’re curious, you find lots of interesting things to do” ….Walt Disney

Video Credit : You Tube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p7V-8v8tOJQ&feature=related

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Am I an Entrepreneur? It doesn’t Matter

Entrepreneurs are critical to the success of our economy by bearing the financial risks to drive innovation and value to their customers.  We salute them.


Are there shades of grey in being an Entrepreneur or is it black and white?  Can you be employed by others but still bring significant value to your company?   If your employer fails, you typically simply move on taking on the risk of lost income, not loss net worth.  However, what if you started to think like an entrepreneur where you are currently employed. Deborah Bailey wrote an interesting article to reflect this concept titled Become a Star Employee by Thinking Like an Entrepreneur.  There are several key take aways:

Your Attitude
Entrepreneurs start out with a vision of what they want to create, whether it is a product or a service. As an employee, your vision is just as important. The good news is that you have 100% control of this

Be Creative
Another trait of entrepreneurs is the ability to find creative ways to get things done. You also  have 100% control of this. Entrepreneurs must think creatively even in their sleep.  If you only do so during your waking hours, you are ahead of a majority of others.  If your employer goes out of its way to keep your creativity at bay, pick your battles.  If possible, find a new manager more responsive to new ideas. Believe it or not, they are there waiting for you!!!

Keep an Open Mind
A most important trait of entrepreneurs is the ability to learn new information and to continue to adapt.  Guess what, you have 100% control of this as well.  Many people find themselves doing the same type of responsibilities for years and get comfortable. Are you in this situation? If so, find a new set where you are more on the edge. It will reawaken your thought processes and clear your mind for new approaches and opportunities.

Thinking like an entrepreneur will ensure you will increase your value to your employer. With this brings increased opportunities, greater income potential and a life filled more with excitement.

ACTION FOR THE DAY
Imagine receiving an unexpected letter in the mail. You open it up and it declares that you are the new owner of the company you currently work for.  You have been given authority to make changes in the way your company earns revenue or manages its costs. Take a look at your roles and responsibilities in your current position.   Identify 3 ideas to accomplish your responsibilities in a faster and/or more efficient way.  How would you run your newly found company with a positive attitude, creative approach and keeping an open mind?  Who would you want to talk to in your company to implement these ideas?

Quote of the Day
Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it.  Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now!! – Goethe


Picture Credit : © Shane Trotter | Dreamstime.com

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Top Ways to Create Your Own Luck

I wrote earlier about viewing life as an opportunity to create your own luck.   But what approaches should you take?  I’ll let you in on a secret…It starts with the right mindset…it starts with Believing.


Nicole Carter of Inc.com wrote a terrific article on the 6 Steps for making your own luck. She listed out 6 Steps I wanted to share:

Be humble 
You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.

Roll up your Sleeves
A strong work ethic is the biggest contributor to being lucky.

Be Generous
A pay it forward attitude pays off in spades. And it feels good.

Be Ready

Per Jim Collins, author of  Good to Great, “Thousands of people could have done the same thing that Mr. Gates did,  at the same time. But they didn’t…”    Bill Gates was ready to take action. Are you?

Go with your Gut
Per Steve Jobs at his famous Stanford Graduating Class speech : “You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you  can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.   You have to trust in something.”

Simply believe you are Lucky
According to psychologist and University of Hertfordshire Professor Richard Wiseman, “Simply believing you are lucky can create positive outcomes… Lucky people are more relaxed and open, and therefore see what is there,  rather than just what they are looking for.”

While very unfortunate things could happen to us or our loved ones in life, sometimes painful experiences, we can still create our own luck and have some wonderful experiences and accomplishments in our life.

Action of the Day
For the rest of today and tomorrow, start a new belief system. You are indeed a very lucky person. If the luck hasn’t materialized yet, know that every challenge or setback is simply putting you one step closer to your ultimate goal.  Visualize yourself ready for the opportunity. You will be amazed at how many times situations arise to move forward on your goals when you are least expecting it. They will almost fall into your lap. Trust your gut. I am an “analyzer”. Sometimes, I need to take that hat off and just embrace what is coming my way and go with my gut feelings without analysis.  I then welcome the new opportunity, roll up my sleeves and give it my all. Luck is sure to follow.

Quote of the Day
“I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.”       Michael Jordan (world famous professional basketball player

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Upgrade Your Career with Luck

Do you believe we fall into luck or create our own luck?

Let me give a scenario and you can prove to yourself the answer.

A talented lady, named Susan, desperately wants to break into acting. She goes to 100 auditions over two years for commercials, TV shows, and movie extra opportunities. No success yet. But she deep down knows this is her destiny. She works during the day on different odds/ends jobs scraping by an existence. One day, while working as a cashier at Target, in comes a man buying a DVD and white socks. Susan always treats each customer with a smile. Susan packages his purchases with style and wishes him a great day. He walks five steps, turns around, and shares that he is directing a new action television series. She has the look he has been looking for. He hires her and asks if she can start next Monday.

Is this luck or did she create her own luck? If you are a person with a glass half empty view of life, you might view this as pure luck. Clearly this director came out of the blue. How could you predict this would happen? If you are a person who views life with the glass half full, you would view this as Susan creating her own luck.

As you can imagine, I believe Susan created her own luck. She put herself out there for several years. Through her challenges, she refined her skill, and transformed herself mentally as an actress. She believed in herself. This faith in herself came across in everyone she met. It was only a matter of time that she would be “discovered”. Before this discovery, she just wasn’t ready yet. The auditions were a critical part of her development. She didn’t realize this till after going through those challenges.

Actions of the Day
What career or educational goals have you been pursuing that have seemingly alluded you? Have you been putting yourself out there giving it your all? If so, consider the possibility that the issue is not “if” but “when” you will succeed. There is a famous comment from Thomas Edison, the master American Inventor, where in discovering the light bulb, he never failed. He just found 10,000 ways that won’t work before succeeding. Never give up. Create your own luck!!

Quote of the Day
“Many of life’s failures are men who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” Thomas Edison, American Inventor

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